Escaping
by Skones
Summary: Arizona comforts Callie who is distraught over an event in her past five years ago... Now Complete
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Sorry this isn't beta'd, I just had this idea, so I posted it. I'll probably continue it for one or two more chaps depending on what people say... :)**

Arizona eyed the bottle of tequila that accompanied her girlfriend at the bar. Joe's bar had become a regular hangout for the Seattle Grace surgeons so he had all of their pager codes in case things got out of hand. The blonde had received a 911 page from Joe about five minutes ago but she didn't see anything wrong.

_It's doesn't look like she's drank that much…_ Arizona glanced at her pager screen verifying the message before heading over towards Calliope.

"Hey Calliope," Arizona smiled happily and leaned in to kiss her girlfriend, but her happy expression twisted off her face once Callie turned to face her.

Callie's eyes were red rimmed and her mascara had run in long streams down her face leaving black marks all down her face. As Arizona took in Callie's current state she noticed the empty glasses that littered the bar beside her girlfriend.

"Callie, baby what's wrong?" Arizona was alarmed, she had only seen Callie cry a handful of times, but this was worse. Callie wasn't crying, anymore, she just looked lost like she was trying to drown out everything with alcohol.

"Nothing, Arizona… I'll see you at the apartment later okay?" Callie turned her back on the blonde and downed another shot, simultaneously signaling Joe to bring her another.

Tonight Callie needed the escape that alcohol brought her, she needed to feel her mind cloud enough so she could forget, she always needed to forget today.

"Cal, there is absolutely no way I'm leaving you here like this…" Callie knew Arizona cared for her, maybe even loved her, but every time this date rolled around she just needed to be alone for one night. "Lets just go home, did something happen at the hospital?"

"Arizona I need you to just go! I'll be normal again tomorrow, like I always am…" Arizona took a step back as a hurt expression settled across her face. She tried to lay a comforting hand on her girlfriend shoulder, but Callie shook it off and turned back to Joe.

"I'll call her a cab, Arizona it's okay if you want to go." Joe tried to be reassuring, he had grabbed Callie's keys from her about ten minutes ago so she was safe inside the bar.

"I'll go Callie, if that's what you really want-" Arizona said softly, Callie stiffened at Arizona's use of her nickname, but she couldn't go home tonight…

"Just go." Callie didn't want to see Arizona's hurt expression but as the blonde exited the bar Callie caught a glimpse of Arizona with her beautiful blue eyes wrought with emotion and pain. Callie almost chased after her girlfriend but as Joe set another shot down in front of her she downed it quickly and turned away from the window.

* * *

Grabbing her phone from her purse, Arizona dialed Mark's number, she hoped that Callie's best friend would have some answers for her. She had gotten the feeling from Callie that it was something about the day that troubled her, and also like this had happened before.

"Mark?"

"Robbins? What's up?"

"Callies at Joes right now…"

"Yeah, she goes there a lot, we all do… Spit it out Robbins!"

"She seemed really upset, but about what day is was, not anything that happened at the hospital.." Arizona bit her lip uncertainly. "Do you know anything about that?"

"Shit! Arizona it's not the thirtieth is it?"

"Umm, yeah?"

"In all of the years I've known her, Callie has never slept or gone home on the thirtieth of November. I've always been there with her, it gets pretty rough. But I can't get away from the hospital right now… "

"What happened, why today?"

"Something, happened about five years ago today. Callie needs to tell you herself. You need to stay there with her, she needs you tonight, no matter what she says." Arizona glanced back behind her though the window where Calliope was still sitting at the bar playing absentmindedly with an empty shot glass.

"Mark, just tell me what happened…"

"Just stay with her Arizona, I have to go!" Mark's concern for Callie was evident in his voice, but the phone line clicked off.

Arizona turned slowly and headed back into the bar determined to understand what was going on with her girlfriend.

_She never sleeps today…_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter, i'm gonna continue this for a couple more chapters, let me know what you think, comments/reviews/suggestions are :)**

**Mega thanks to CalzonaMojoFan for beta'ing this, and helping with the residency/med school timeline so it makes sense.**

Callie leaned against the bar her head resting on her hand. Her other hand carelessly toyed with the bracelet that hung on her wrist. It was made of an odd assortment of beads, they were all mismatched and it looked like a childhood art project gone wrong. Callie only wore it once a year, all other days she kept it safely hidden in her top drawer. But every year on the 30th of November she put it on because this was the only day she couldn't help remembering. A memory flashed unbidden through Callie's mind, it was so painful she clenched the edge of the table to try to anchor herself in reality but the torrent of images rushing through her mind dragged her away.

* * *

"_Over here Cal!" Callie's kid sister, Leta, ran toward her big sister and jumped excitedly into her arms._

"_Whoa there sis, you get taller every time I see you, How old are you now, like twenty?"_

_Leta smirked, "I just turned seven, you know that, you sent me a Nintendo Ds as a present." Callie laughed and ruffled her little sister's hair,_

"_Whatever you say…" As she put her little sister down, her father and mother walked into view across the crowded airport. _

"_Mija…" Callie's mother enveloped her in a tight hug and then Callie's father greeted his daughter in a similar fashion._

"_Calliope, how are you liking Seattle? Is your new job all that you hoped it would be?" Callie's father inquired. Her family had flown up from Florida to see Callie after her first week of residency at Seattle Grace Hospital. Callie's parents were immensely proud of their daughter, they had seen her all through college and med school. They were glad she had finally achieved her goal of getting into Seattle Grace's surgical Residency program._

"_Yeah it's great, I've met a lot of nice people at the hospital. There's a fourth year resident named Mark who is really nice but he's busy with his studying for his boards, and then there's a first year resident like me, named Miranda Bailey who… is interesting…"_

"_That's good Mija."_

"_Callie, Callie!" Leta tugged on her big sister's arm demanding attention, "look what I made for you!" Callie's little sister held out a bracelet proudly and slipped the elastic band around her sister wrist. "There…" She grinned happily up at Callie, "I made it in art class, but I saved it cause I know you like bracelets."_

"_Thanks kiddo," Callie laughed but she was touched by her little sister's gesture. "So Leta, it's your first day in Seattle where do you wanna eat?"_

"_Burger King!"_

"_Seriously?" Callie looked amusedly over her little sister's head at her parents, who shook their heads in exasperation._

"_She's obsessed, we had it before we left Florida as well." Callie's mother threw up her hands in mock annoyance. "Callie where's a good place we can sit down and eat." She threw a meaningful glance at her daughter silencing any further protests._

_Laughing, Callie answered her mother ignoring her sister's annoyed glare. "Around the corner from my apartment is a really good Italian place, we can drive there right now if that's ok…"_

_

* * *

  
_

"Calliope…" Callie felt a presence behind her and she spun around, coming face to face with Arizona's deep blue eyes. Arizona's intrusion interrupted the painful memory and Callie gratefully returned to reality before realizing who was standing in front of her.

"Arizona…" Callie voice broke, "I told you to go…" Callie didn't mean it, she couldn't mean it and Arizona could see that.

"Callie, I'm taking you home." Arizona's voice was strong but Callie shook her head numbly.

"I don't go home tonight," she looked pleadingly up at Arizona, she needed Arizona to understand her. "It's just... I can't"

"Why, Calliope, you have to tell me why… what is it about today that's making you hurt so badly?" Arizona saw Callie struggling with herself, her dark brown eyes were filled with an immeasurable amount of grief and Arizona couldn't bear to see the woman she loved looking so broken.

Gently she reached out a hand and wove her fingers between Callie's. Slowly she pulled Callie from her seat and led her slowly out of the bar into the refreshing night air. When they were safely away from the alcohol Arizona guided Callie over onto a bench and pulled Callie into a tight hug.

"Whatever it is Callie, you can tell me. Whatever it is, I'll be here." Arizona murmured, she stroked Callie hair gently as she felt her girlfriend's fresh tears stain her jacket.

Callie took a shuddering breath and sat up, extricating herself from Arizona's embrace but keeping the blonde's hand clasped in her own.

"Okay…" Arizona looked at Callie encouragingly and she noticed Callie was toying with a bracelet on her wrist, she hadn't ever seen it before.

"On my first weekend off after starting my residency, my entire family came up to see me. My parents and my sister flew all the way up from Florida. They knew that being a surgeon had always been my dream job, and they were all so proud of me…" Callie voice trailed off and she looked up and saw Arizona's confused expression.

"I didn't know you have sister, how old is she?"

"Had, Arizona… I had a sister…"

**Hope you enjoyed, i'll try to update this, and Today Was a Good Day over the next three or four days :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm going to extend this for at least one more chapter, but i'm updating Today Was a Good day before I write the next chapter for this story...**

**Any suggestions for more chapters would be awesome, as are reviews:)**

**Thanks to CalzonaMoJoFan for helping :)**

Arizona eyes widened in horrified surprise, Callie had collapsed again at this admission and Arizona felt that this time she was responsible. She had thought maybe Callie had lost an important patient five years ago or something, but this… Never this…

"Cal.. I'm so sorry I didn't know. I didn't mean to force a story out of you," Arizona desperately tried to comfort her girlfriend, she was feeling extremely guilty about pushing Calliope to talk. The one time Callie has asked about her brother, Arizona had told her it was something she couldn't talk about. Callie had respected her space, she hadn't tried to force the story out of her.

"Calliope?" Arizona murmured softly.

Callie looked up, her face was tearstained and her breathing was ragged. "I'm sorry. You... You shouldn't have to stay here babysitting me like this." She tried to leave again but Arizona held her firmly, keeping her seated on the bench.

"I want to be here, Callie, I'm your girlfriend. I'm the one who is going to hold you when you cry or comfort you when you're upset," Arizona paused then smiled sadly "or bring you donuts if you're depressed. You don't have to do everything alone you know…"

"I know," Callie sniffled. "Today just really… sucks." She sighed. "It always does."

"You don't have to talk about it, sometimes talking makes it easier, for me it did, that and donuts. But I understand if that's not what you need."

"Thanks Ari, just having you here helps." Callie continued to fiddle with the bracelet twisting it nervously on her wrist. "But, I think it's time I told someone, you know, besides Mark. But if you don't want to listen…"

"Calliope! What did I just tell you?"

"Oh, right" Callie mumbled before closing her eyes for an instant, she sighed and seemed to brace herself before continuing. "Her name was Leta, my sister I mean, she was only seven years old. Five years ago today my family drove up to visit me, it was my first week of residency….

* * *

"_Yeech! Callie what am I supposed to eat here?" Leta fidgeted anxiously in her seat as she stared at the menu the waiter had handed her._

"_They have Pizza, you still like Pizza right?"_

"_Of course I like Pizza!" Leta squealed indignantly, she had always loved pizza. "But I can't find just plain cheese, what the heck is a gourmet Pizza?"_

"_It's where they put all these weird toppings on it, then they can say it's special or something, I don't really know." Callie laughed and scanned the Pizza list looking for something that resembled cheese. "Here, it's called Four Cheese Pizza." _

"_But I only want a One cheese pizza!"_

"_It's all the same, Leta there's really no difference."_

"_This would have never happened at a Burger King!" Leta asserted some of her straightforward logic that only young children have and Callie laughed._

"_You are much more annoying than I remember," Callie said jokingly. "Just try it and if you don't like it I promise before you leave I will find you a Burger King."_

"_Deal!"_

"_So Calliope, tell us about the hospital, how was your first week?" Callie's parents had heard Callie's long speeches about how amazing the residency program at Seattle Grace hospital was. And when they talked to her on the phone and she told them the exciting news about her acceptance, she had almost talked them to deafness in her excitement._

"_It's really great, the hours are really long but I'm learning lots. There was this one really amazing surgery where one of the attendings rebuilt a mans leg and replaced it with-"_

_Leta sighed, when Callie went off about surgery is was awfully boring. _

"_I'm gonna go find the bathroom okay?" Callie just nodded distractedly at her and continued in her rapture about some bone surgery._

_As Leta disappeared into the bathroom a man entered the restaurant, nobody paid much attention to him, for a while._

"_Everybody down!" The man pulled and gun out of his pocket and brandished it madly around the restaurant. Callie and her family dropped to the floor like the rest of the customers in the restaurant but they were glancing desperately around for Leta._

'_Please let her stay in the bathroom or something' Callie prayed silently. She slowly tried to edge her way towards the bathroom door but the man had been scanning for any sign of movement._

"_If anybody moves I'll start shooting!" He jabbed the gun towards Callie, "You! Stop it!"_

_Callie slid to a stop but her gaze remained fixed on the bathroom door._

_The man had turned towards the cash register and was demanding for cash. 'Who robs an Italian restaurant for cash?' Callie wondered as she took the opportunity to crawl closer to the bathroom. She really didn't have a plan, but maybe if should could slip a note under the door or something…_

_Suddenly the door burst open, and Leta dashed out. She stopped as she noticed that everyone in the restaurant was on the floor, she saw Callie sitting on the floor about ten feet away staring at her in horror, she looked terrified. _

"_Cal, what the-"_

_The man whirled at the noise and fired blindly in the direction of what he had assumed to be the police bursting into the restaurant. _

_Callie screamed as Leta doubled over clutching her chest, her fingers were already turning red. Cradling her sister's head in her hands, Callie frantically dialed 911, but paramedics already surrounded her. They quickly took vitals, and loaded Leta's small frame onto a stretcher. _

"_I didn't mean to shoot anyone." The man with the gun was frantically yelling as he was dragged out of the restaurant by the police, but Callie's gaze followed her sister's stretcher and she tried to follow what that paramedics were saying. _

_Her breath hitched in her throat and she could feel herself collapse against the wall, she didn't believe the paramedics, she couldn't…_

_-Time of death 1:30 pm-_

_

* * *

  
_

It was all Arizona could do not to burst into sobs as she wound her arms around Callie's shuddering form. She couldn't even imagine what that would've been like. Her brother died thousands of miles away, and it had still been horrible. Arizona had felt like her entire world her been turned upside down and ripped apart, but Arizona couldn't even comprehend the pain Callie must be experiencing.

Callie had given up on trying to hide her emotions from Arizona, she sobbed uncontrollably into her girlfriend's jacket and Arizona waited with her rubbing her hands up and down Callie's back as she barely contained her own tears.

"It was all my fault," Callie mumbled into the fabric of Arizona's jacket. Arizona's eyes widened in disbelief as she heard what Callie had said. Callie knew it was true, she had pushed that thought into the back of her mind, but after telling that story out loud for the second time in five years Callie knew that her sister's death was her fault.

Arizona pulled Callie away from her and tenderly touched her girlfriend's cheek with her hand until finally Callie looked up at her. "Don't ever say that!" Arizona stared into Callie's eyes intently. "You can't blame yourself for what that horrible man did Calliope!"

"But I picked the restaurant! We could've gone to Burger King or any other restaurant, but I picked that one… It was me, I took her there!" Arizona grabbed Callie's shoulders and pulled her closer so Callie face was only inches from hers.

"How can you blame yourself Calliope! He came to that place with a gun. He pulled the trigger. None of it was your fault Cal, none of it!" Arizona exclaimed vehemently.

"Then why does it hurt so much?" Callie whimpered clutching at Arizona. "It's been five years, why, Arizona, why does it still make me feel like I can't breathe, like I'm stuck in that moment replaying it again and again in my head?"

"Callie that never will go away." Arizona admitted quietly. "It fades with time, but he… My brother…. My brother died more than ten years ago and when his birthday comes around or when it's the anniversary of his death I can't function. Sometimes it feels like he died yesterday, and sometimes it feels like I can still pick up the phone and call him. Calliope that never will go away…"

"Thanks Ari… I'm… I'm glad you stayed with me tonight. And I'm sorry about your brother." Callie had needed someone to tell her she wasn't responsible, that her little sister's death wasn't her fault. Fingering the bracelet she turned towards Arizona who was looking very depressed. Her blue eyes were glistening with un-spilled tears and she looked sympathetically at Callie.

"The bracelet, was that?"

"Yeah," Callie said bluntly obviously trying to avoid starting to cry again. "She gave it to me, right before… Well you know…"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry this update took so long... There will probably be one more chapter to finish up the story.**

**Reviews/Comments/Suggestions etc. are loved :)**

**Huge thanks to CalzonaMojoFan for beta'ing**

**

* * *

Chapter 4**

Callie was curled up against Arizona on the bench, and the blonde had her arms wrapped tightly around her girlfriend. Callie shifted closer to Arizona trying to eliminate any remaining space between them and turned her tear-streaked face up to look at Arizona.

"Arizona?" Callie whispered.

"Mmm, what Cal?" Arizona was shaken out of her own memories by Callie's soft whisper. They hadn't spoken in a while, just taken comfort in each other's company.

"You don't have to, if it's hard for you or anything…"

Arizona was intrigued and she leaned closer to Callie, until her face was just inches from her girlfriend's. "What is it?" She inquired before placing a quick kiss on Callie's forehead.

"Could you tell me about your brother?" Callie shrank back as she felt Arizona stiffen and draw in a breath. "Hey, it's okay I didn't mean to… It's not like you have to since I told you about my sister, but maybe you need to talk about it."

"Callie I… it's just hard for me to talk about him. I haven't said his name aloud more than twice in the past seven years." Arizona admitted quietly as she relaxed and pulled Callie close again. Callie laid her lips on Arizona's hair lightly as she tried to reassure her girlfriend.

"I can tell you a little, but it hurts me to talk about him. Like with your sister it's… it's hard for me, you know..."

"I know, believe me Arizona, I know." Arizona was silent for a long time and Callie waited quietly. She didn't want Arizona to think that because she told her about her sister that Callie thought she needed to share.

"His name was Dakota. He was two years older than me but since we moved around so much he was practically my best friend, we were really close." Arizona continued and her voice was steadier this time. "In our family I was the rebel." She laughed softly. "We were born and raised to go into the military so when I announced I was going to college and then on to med school our parents weren't exactly thrilled. But Kota was supportive and when he was home he helped me sift through huge amounts of college brochures and decide which courses to take since our parents wouldn't help. He was the golden boy to our parents and he enlisted right out of high school, I skipped fourth grade so I was just starting senior year when he shipped off. After that I talked to him on the phone every Saturday night, but other than that our lives continued. I went on to college and med school and he went on to get promotion after promotion in the army, making our dad very proud." Arizona smiled sadly at the memory and ran her fingers through Callie's hair before continuing…

* * *

"_Robbins tell your interns to give all of your case files over to Collins for the day." Arizona turned around to see the PEDs attending whose service she was on, talking to her._

"_Sure, but may I ask why? Did I screw up on something?" She smiled nervously as she gathered up her case files, but her attending smiled back reassuringly._

"_No, Robbins your work has been fine. You know I like having you on my service, but you have a phone call and the Chief told me to give you a personal day."_

"_Okay…" Arizona's voice trailed off in confusion._

"_Just head to the nurses' desk," he looked at her sympathetically before heading off. 'That's weird' Arizona thought before walking to the nurses' desk._

"_Hey Robbins, there's a call for you." The nurse gestured to the phone lying on the desk and Arizona thanked the nurse before picking up the receiver hesitantly. _

"_Hello?"_

"_Arizona?" Arizona stiffened as she recognized her father's voice on the end of the line._

"_Dad? Why didn't you just call my cell?"_

"_Arizona you need to come home, today…"_

_"Dad it's a six hour drive, what is it?"_

"_It's Dakota, Arizona he's... He's been killed in action…" Her father's voice shook but Arizona had already dropped the phone._

'_It must be a mistake,' she thought frantically. 'It can't be him, I just talked to him on Saturday. He said he was going on one last tour before he came home for a couple months. There must be some mistake…'_

_Arizona tossed her white coat on the chair in the waiting room and rushed quickly out of the hospital. Dashing over to her jeep, she rifled through the contents of her purse until she found her cell phone. She dialed her brother's number quickly and listened to the phone ring over and over again with mounting dread._

"_C'mon Kota, pick up, pick up…" she muttered desperately. The phone rang to voicemail and Arizona clicked it off slowly. She felt numb and hot tears were beginning to form in her eyes. She frantically jammed the key into the ignition and drove for six straight hours to her old home. 'It's a mistake' she thought as she drove, 'it has to be…'_

_Arizona knocked hesitantly on the door. She hadn't seen her parents since she started the residency program, they were unhappy that she still hadn't come to her senses about joining the army. As she waited nervously on the porch Arizona remembered how Dakota used to try to build tree houses in the huge maple that stood in the front yard, how she and Kota had hosted endless amounts of lemonade stands out front, and how he had walked with her to school every day just down that street._

"_Arizona…" Arizona's father stood in the doorway looking haggard. "Your mother wanted to see you, she's in Dako- She's in his room." He added gruffly before retreating from the doorway. _

"_Wait, Dad, you called me at the hospital. I came all the way here! You need to talk to me, we need to talk…" Her father turned around and stared at her with his blue eyes distant, as if he was lost._

"_Go find your mother Arizona…" He repeated before disappearing into the kitchen. _

_Angrily Arizona headed up the stairs but she slowed down on the last step, her mother was sobbing. She could hear the sounds of crying drifting out of the third room down the hall, Kota's room. Arizona collapsed against the wall, sobs wracking her body._

_So it was true…_

* * *

Callie watched Arizona closely as she tried to read the blonde's expression. She wasn't crying but she looked distant, like she wasn't totally in reality.

"I'm so sorry Arizona," Callie paused thoughtfully. "Come with me, I think I know a way to cheer us up."

**A/N: Thanks for reading :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: This is Un-Beta'd because I already sent my beta a chapter of another story and I don't want to bombard with chapters over the holidays...**

**Anyway, this took waaaaaay too long but here is the ending, some parts won't make sense unless you've read the other four chapters. :)**

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* * *

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"Callie where on earth are we going, I thought you didn't go home on November thirtieth?" The blonde looked curiously at Callie. Her girlfriend's face was still tear stained and fresh tears threatened to spill over onto her cheeks but Arizona noticed that Callie didn't look quite as upset anymore. Keeping her eyes carefully fixed on the road, Callie flashed Arizona a small smile.

"We're not going home. I remember you telling me how you deal with grief, and I thought we could try it."

"Wha-" Arizona was about to ask another question but Callie switched lanes and pulled into the parking lot of a store with a very familiar logo.

"Is this okay?" Callie asked uncertainly, but now it was Arizona's turn to grin.

"Right now, it's absolutely perfect…" Threading her fingers through Callie's, Arizona brought Callie's hand to her mouth and kissed it lightly. "I'm surprised you remembered."

Callie chuckled, "Arizona, it's a rather unique ritual, not an easy one to forget anyway." The blonde beamed back at her and led Callie through the front door to Dunkin' Donuts.

After surveying the selection of donuts in the glass case Callie turned to Arizona. "So, what's good here?" She asked as Arizona peered excitedly in at the donuts, apparently even the sight of that many donuts was therapeutic for her.

"Those," she pointed through the glass at a row of glazed donuts covered in a mass of multicolored sprinkles. Callie wrinkled her nose in response; they looked disgustingly sweet. Motioning to the bored teen working the counter Callie nudged Arizona.

"You're the expert here, so you can order for us."

"Okay," Arizona scrutinized the donut display quickly before ordering. "Can we please have, three of those sprinkley ones," she paused. "and um… Three glazed, two with chocolate frosting and two jelly donuts… please." She finished with a small grin while keeping a tight grasp on Callie's hand.

"So…" Callie asked after Arizona had grabbed the pink box with their donuts off the counter and they had paid. "Where do you want to go eat these donuts?"

Arizona looked up at Callie thoughtfully, "well we can't go home." Callie nodded emphatically and Arizona continued. "We could go to the park, I think they have benches and it's nice out there this time of year… When it's not raining anyway…" Arizona searched Callie face intently. She wasn't sure how Callie was going to act, less than two hours ago she had been completely broken, filled with an immeasurable amount of pain and guilt. Arizona knew she couldn't understand what Callie was going through. Every year on the day of her brother's death she took the day off and drove to her parent's house, they spent the entire day together. Arizona's relationship with her family had become strained after her brother's death, without his constant jokes and expert way of preventing their parents form giving Arizona the third degree it seemed they had forgotten how to be a family. They couldn't interact anymore without fighting with each other, but one day a year Dakota fixed them. On the anniversary his death Arizona's family remembered their favorite moments from Dakota's life, watched old family videos and at dusk they would go visit his grave, all together.

But Arizona understood that after her family had disowned her, Callie had no one to take care of her on this day. The blonde was relieved that Callie had let her in and Arizona ached to take some of Callie's pain away, but she wasn't sure what her girlfriend needed.

"That sounds great, you want to drive? I have no idea where the park is…"

"Sure," Arizona answered easily, waiting to see if Callie was going to breach the subject of her sister's death or try to act put together, like she wasn't still torn apart inside.

On the car ride to the park, Arizona knew every park in Seattle so finding one wasn't an issue, Callie toyed with the bracelet on her wrist. She traced her fingers across the mismatched beads sadly, her eyes acquired a faraway look and Arizona knew she was remembering.

* * *

Callie saw her sister. She remembered the day Lita had been born, a smiling little baby with a bizarre mop of the family's characteristic dark hair. Even though she was older when Lita was born, Callie remembered feeling a little jealous of the new baby that her parents devoted all of their attention to. All of that quickly dissolved as Callie fell completely in love with her little sister. Her hilarious toothless smile and constant desire to be held endeared to the entire family, but Callie liked the fact that her sister was a little daredevil. Forever hiding somewhere or climbing on top of something she really shouldn't have, even at such an early age Lita seemed to take delight in doing things she knew would freak her parents out.

Then she saw the day she died. Scenes flashed before her eyes and Callie remembered feeling her finger's grow wet with blood as she clutched her sister, the screams of the rest of her family as they couldn't find each other in the chaos and worst of all the look in her little sister's dark eyes, the eyes that matched her own, the terrified expression Callie saw in Lita's eyes as the life drained out of her.

Callie wasn't aware that the car had stopped, she sat lost in memories until Arizona tentatively touched her hand. Clutching at Arizona, Callie's eyes collided with Arizona's as the blonde stared at her.

"Calliope," Arizona said softly. "We don't have to do this…"

"Yeah, I do at least," Callie said sadly.

* * *

As Callie wandered over to a bench Arizona followed close behind her cradling the box of donuts under her arm. She set the box down gently on the bench and pulled Callie to her in a tight hug.

They sat like that for a while, crushed as close together as possible, as Arizona held Callie comfortingly. After a time Callie extricated herself from Arizona's embrace and reached over toward the box of donuts, ignoring the worried look she saw in Arizona's eyes.

"So which of these are any good?" Arizona could hear the tears behind her voice, but she knew that she needed to be distracted for a bit.

"Well, the sprinkled one's are my favorites, but the chocolate ones are usually pretty good."

"I don't think I can handle that many sprinkles," Callie said jokingly while she reached for a chocolate donut. Arizona chose one of her multi-colored donuts and the couple snuggled close together on the park bench as they ate.

"Thanks for staying with me tonight Arizona. Today is... always hard for me Some days I feel guilty, like I shouldn't be able to be happy after what happened. Or when I forget her, some days I realize that I hadn't thought about her in a while, and that scares me. I feel horrible, but today is just too much for me..."

"We're living. It's what they would have wanted us to do. Your sister, my brother would have wanted us to live, to be happy and to experience what they couldn't. You will never forget her, Callie you loved her and she knew that." Arizona ran her fingers gently through Callie's hair and brushed a stray tear off of her cheek tenderly.

"With you it's easier for me to remember her without drowning in all of it. On the anniversary of her death it's usually just me and tequila and Lita probably wouldn't have approved of that." Callie knew it was thanks to Arizona that she had been able to get through today, and she felt horrible for shutting the blonde out before.

"I'll always be here when you need me, whenever you need me." Arizona paused, "and Calliope?"

"Mmm?"

"It's 12:01… I know that doesn't make it any easier for you, but it's a new day. She would've wanted you to live it, to enjoy it…"

"Lets go home..."

* * *

**A/N: I wasn't really happy with this ending and I may write some more tomorrow but for now it's finished. Please tell me what you thought of the story :)**


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